The year I took off? Well, where to start. I think I used LIFE as an excuse. You know, all the things that can and do happen on an everyday basis. Babies being born, youngest child starting high school, me feeling like I'm getting old faster than I am ready for...the list of excuses goes on and on. I think my biggest excuse is FEAR. I am an introvert. I have OCD. Both of these only add to my fear. The fear can be very overwhelming at times. I have decided to take charge of this fear and no longer let it rule me.
Do you ever read something, an article or a blog or a book, and think "Wow, how did they know that about me? Are they secretly filming me? (enter that fear thing) Well, I felt like that after reading a post by Erin at bluebirdbaby.typepad.com. Every year Erin has a challenge for the year. This year it is 'Let Go Of Fear'. She talks of how fear can seep into your life and makes things so very hard for you. Fear can hinder happiness of all types; relationships, jobs, dreams. My fear has certainly done that to me.
Four years ago, I had something devastating happen to me: my husband walked out on my 10 year old daughter and myself. Not only that, but it came to light that he had been planning this for some time. To make matters worse, it was for the person that I thought was my close friend. I had no money, as he closed the accounts, no job, a 10 year old, and major health problems. To say the least, fear took over. I spent most of 2012 and 2013 just trying to cope.
Are things better now? Yes, very much so. We have a wonderful apartment, a good high school for my girl, and most of my health problems are being dealt with. But fear, I am sorry to say, still envelopes me at times.
I have taken Erin's challenge. I will no longer allow fear to rule. I know, easier said that done at times. My biggest fear that I am dealing with at the moment? Blogging. Am I good enough to blog? Does my page look like something I would stop and read? Are there enough pictures or not enough? Are the topics boring? Do I prattle on to much? (always!) I am going to not think about those fears any more. Today is the day I tell fear to take a hike!
There is a song that I love, sung by Susan Boyle. The title: This Will Be The Year. I'm making it my personal challenge. This will be the year when I start living again, mistakes, phobias and all. The year that I become who I was meant to be. No excuses.
I hope all of you will have a wonderful day. Keep warm, my friends. Hug your special someone, laugh, love and most of all, remember that you are one-of-a-kind, there is no one just like you and you do count.
Until next time,
Deb
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